A Wise Woman Once Said...

Coming to you straight from da ATL. I'm down here this week visiting the fam (haven't seen em in like forever... literally).

Was fortunate enough to sit with my sis & one of my fav aunts and speak on relationships. Clearly I was asked whats up with my love life and I Chris Brown'd all around that topic. I have one Per Se but that info for now on whether its good or bad is mine for now. So my sis who likes to throw me under the bus mentioned one girl she loves to bring up to company. She mentioned this girl who I had a casual sexual relationship with in the past. She loves to use this example for some reason to portray me as a dog. I believe she likes this situation cuz she allowed the girl to weasel into her life to stay close to me. She allowed the girl to make her believe she tricked on me. So I told my aunt like this straight up, Ive been taking care of myself financially since I was 14 & this girl tried to buy my love. I told shorty from jump what it was gonna be, didn't want her to be my girl before we ever had sex, just friends. She saw my point but asked if I normally have sex with my friends. I said no but when I do I handle it by separating emotions. I told her women have a tendency to mix up love & sex. Just cuz a man sleeps with you doesn't mean its more than that. Communication is key so lay the guidelines. She saw my point but still thought I was a dog.

Now the topic of dating came up. Now we all know from previous posts my take on that topic. What was interesting was that this older Haitian woman had the same views on dating as I did. She was married before, has 2 daughters, 4 grandkids & a long distance "boyfriend". Now my sis keeps telling her she needs to date because my sis is of the mind that is the only way to meet someone & settle down. My aunt stated "Dating is a waste of time". This surprised me cuz in my family all the older women are married have kids stay married no matter the situation. She doesn't want to have to go out and sit down & act a certain way to try to impress some dude who she probably wont connect with. I believe she was hurt by her divorce which in part keeps her introverted as well as less connected to the dude she has partly now. Why put her self through the torture. I will say it again if you want to get to know someone take em out their element, get them uncomfortable and see how they react.

Then I was asked about marriage. Now on marriage I am a bit softer cuz I want that one woman to be with forever, except more times than not forever tends to be a bit shorter than expected. Now my aunt never wants to get married again which may make her a lil biased. We spoke on another fam member who has a girl, which is carrying his baby, who he has yet to propose to. Now we all have theories bout said girl, mine is she just isn't right for him. Now should he change multiple lives & marry her just cuz she pregnant? Of course not. Too many women (men too, no bias here) are looking for someone to take care of them instead of being in love. I plan on getting married once, if shit don't work out a bachelor career is my ticket. Making sure she's the one is key & this is where the sage advice comes from:
She told me once I decide on that one woman to make sure I know the divorce laws in whatever state I'm in. Prenup is a key. I was shocked that an older woman is telling me this. Most women I speak with when the topic of prenup comes up they face scrunch up, body starts to shift like I'm asking em to go clean a septic tank.

Funny thing is I just had the same conversation with my homegirl re: marriage & where to & not to get married. NY safe to say is the worst place to get married for a man plain & simple. If you like L's this is where to take em..

To end my rambling all I gotta say is when women speak open ya ears cuz they will surprise you every now & then. Guess this trip was worth it after all ...