I recently had a conversation with a good friend about why am I still single being that I have a good heart, am unafraid to be honest & will do what it takes for my future wife to be happy. She came to the conclusion that it must be something I am doing that has these past relationships (girlfriend, jumpoff, potential) ending the way they do. Now I have no problem taking blame for my mistakes. If I never got top from that girl during the break me & my ex were on it wouldn't have came back to bite me yes but also she shouldn't have broken up wit me 6 times in 2 years. But whatever you know that's done (always venting). But what my friend fails to realize is that women put me in situations such as this
- I have this friend, real cool chick. Met her years back. She friends with my boys, she knows my cuz all that. Always saw her at parties, texted back & forth. She was boo'ed up didn't really care to know her BF (he never liked me anyway). So we text flirted for a long time, seen her at parties & caught some mean dubs but always remained respectful (hey if u got a man & u flirting with me what can I do, I owe that dude nothing). So recently she broke up with her man and I took the opportunity to swoop in cuz I always had a thing for her maybe it was more sexual cuz of the party situations but whatever. We started chilling & really getting to know each other. I had a bigger thing (more so than sex) for her now cuz I got to know her without having to take her out (see previous post). But something said don't get into her cuz she just broke up with her man & I'm usually good with these toss up decisions but like I said we were friends 1st & it remains that way. So she tells me give her time cuz she really likes me but things are weird which is understandable (but in the same breath calling me boo). Fast forward a lil and we at another party, had no idea she was gonna be there but was actually happy to see her cuz we disconnected a lil bit. So I wait for my opportunity to get next to her and we talk a lil, I make her laugh (which I'm good at) & we dance. While were dancing said "ex" walks up & says something to her which changes her mood. Now she telling me she cant be next to me, giver her like 15 mins. Granted. Now I see her again and she shying away from me cuz he stalking around her. So my vibe for the party was done cuz I was drinking & my brain works overtime when I have liquor. I'm like I thought this nigga was done & I'm next on deck. Guess not. So party done I go home. Next day I hit up shorty cuz I wanted to apologize if I embarrassed her in any way cuz she wasn't returning the texts. So we talk & she tells me she never was really done wit dude & its still complicated. I'm not a dumb dude, maybe a lil blind sometimes but that's most people, I cant say I didn't know they weren't done but maybe I enjoyed the attention she gave for however brief. I'm understanding to her situation & I tell her that. I just wanted to be told the truth cuz now I feel like I lost something & he gets it undeservedly just cuz they got history.
Is it fair for her to lead me on knowing that my feelings were growing? She cant say that she didn't know cuz I was always honest with her & I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to the opposite sex. I give what I give & I ask for the same in return. I don't like to be used in any way shape or form. I feel she used me as the rebound guy which is definitely not cool. Can we go back maybe can we move forward definitely but not together.
So to my good friend to answer your question I still don't think its me cuz I gave you this situation, the situation involving my ex & the situation of the girl who went through my phone. Believe it or not that is 3 situations of many and you know me so what else can I say. I do not front on any level. Women will be women & some cant have a good thing when they do they try to prove the dude is not what he seems (accusations of cheating, checking his texts & voicemail, asking a friend to flirt with him).
This was just me venting on a situation that was on my mind and in no way is this an indictment on the person involved cuz they read & support my blog. I am who I am. When I find her she will love me for me & not who she expects me to be.
That said I forgive but never forget...
8 comments:
1. She was still fuckin the ex. Whenever a female is "uncomfortable" around an old dude they used to talk to, you can bet the house they're still having sex. Hence all that corny ass "It's Complicated" status. It really aint.
2.Dont put your heart out for anyone till you're sure it's mutual
3. She's sus for acting like that at a party. It's a party, you're supposed to be social.
Maybe she did/does like you but wanted to make sure her feelings with her "bf" were actually gone b4 she started messing wit u..being in a relaionship is serious to some and no1 wants to bring extra baggage or unsure baggage to another..now the whole thing wit the party seeing ex's or whtvr can mess up vibes also especially if there is "something" still there...her staying away after he showed up is f*cked up wht did she say?? did she apologize? did u guys talk it out?? i dont think she used u but u did kno she was fresh out of a relationship as well soo i blame both of u tryint to build soo soon..but i kno ur a sweet guy and she may not have been the one at this time or at all..there is a lucky lady out there for u <3
Yeah man, never mess with a woman who is newly out of her relationship. Couple months after, she IS STILL THINKING ABOUT HIM and you're just the guy she's using to try and move on, the rebound. Unfortunately, it doesn't mean that she is a bad person, it was just to early for her to flirt around with you. In this story, you did nothing wrong, but mess with her to early.
100K: I totally agree with you. She had to still be doin shit wiit this dude.
She was very sus(suspect) for acting like that especially since she was just honest from jump.
As far as not putting my heart into it, I wear my heart on my sleeve so thats that its my gift & my curse
Sandy: She should have been honest from jump then there would be no misconception. You know me so I was completely honest with her. I was messing with other chicks but I told her my feelings were growing. At that point she should have been a woman & said dude was still picture perfect. She fucked up by staying away cuz dats what he wanted. The blame lands squarely on the dishonest & dat sweet guy/lucky lady bs you can keep it. We know the deal with genuinely nice people- they get fucked
Tiffanie: Yea that was my mistake but you know that will be the last time. Sadly though I know I can miss out by not exploring every opportunity. Rebound guy yes & I got bounced out the gym.
Aww, Bobert :(.....Well you already know what I'm going to say, "You can do better" (inside joke)I hope you don't take offense to that like S.dot did....That special and lucky woman is being made for you as we speak. Neix :)
Dont keep SEARCHING for love, Rob. It'll find you when you least expect it. & It'll be patient, real, etc. All the things you want, they'll come...just give it time.
I was in a very similar situation, dude. I was very much used. Not a good feeling at all. I never felt so played and so hurt. I want to find love and be in love so badly that I often get ahead of myself and fall flat on my face. I could have wrote this blog, but I didn't. I don't think you fell flat on your face. It was just too soon. She unintentionally gave you some false hope.
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