As per a request from a friend to get back to my purpose Ive decided to write on a topic that seems to afflict everyone young & old.
The topic is dating. First off I would like to point out that I personally am against "dating". Reasons why:
- Very lopsided in terms of benefits.
- Can be a huge waste of time - either on one part or both.
- Doesn't achieve the results needed to truly learn about someone.
- Both parties are on their "best behavior".
The reason I choose these places is I personally believe people cant be real unless they're out of their element. I'm known as a habitual line pusher. You put a line in place & I will push that shit back to the most uncomfortable position then you can tell me how you feel.
Don't get me wrong when I was young and dumb I actively took or tried to take women out and as I grew up I noticed a few things.
- Conversation was useless unless talk of date was mention within 1st 5mins.
- Length of "dating" that particular person was based on length of monetary assets.
- Feelings and excitement was only generated on said date.
Now when women meet a man that they are interested in they tend to expect a night out you know dinner, movie, dancing all that jazz. Why? Because women live by what society deems a gentleman and what their friends/ strangers might think. But have you ever asked the question are you worth the time & money spent to find that out. Most time no your worth much less. Women always want to play the miss independent card and say she never needs a man to take her out. Granted there is no need but there is a want. You want a man to take you out and show how much you mean to him in material aspects. plenty a time Ive gotten that screwed up Gremlin face when she asks where we going and I firmly respond no where. I much rather spend my time getting to know you and learning what makes you tick then be at dinner & learn your an idiot or you learn I'm a jerk. Granted before you go out with me don't you wanna know I'm not gonna waste your time.
They say "dating" is to find that special someone: someone with whom to build a life together. Much of the time it leads to unrequited Love: you may find someone you adore who simply doesn't share your feelings. Conversely, another person may be madly attracted to you but elicit no such feelings in return.
Example: I was told of this girl who met this guy. Both attracted to each other yes. Only difference this guy would do what ever he could to sleep with her & she would do whatever it takes to continue getting attention and gifts. He continued the payroll & she continued the lure of the pussy. This in a nutshell is "dating". One person foots the bill the other takes advantage (Men do this as well don't get me wrong).
I've read "dating" is a chance to have fun and try things you might not have before. Even if you don't click with the other person, it can still make for an enjoyable outing. That is retarded if you don't click with them how can you possibly enjoy yourself. You re going to be counting the mins until you can end this misery.
At my age I would love to settle down, have a home, kids the whole nine. Hell when I was younger I thought I would have achieved these things already but alas so much more life to live. I know finding that one girl who doesn't lie just to lie, who actually doesn't care what others think of her, who says whats on her mind is gonna be a task but knowing that should I settle for someone who enjoys my company & wallet or someone I can grow old with. Through my trials & tribulations with the opposite sex I've learned that not dating allows me the chance to see the real her. She doesn't have to abide but these dumb ass rules of:
- How long she should wait before having sex.
- Not ordering a big meal as to not look greedy.
- Pretending to laugh at my jokes.
- Making me wait at least 10 mins.
9 comments:
very true blog. liked it. and i am def one of the girls who ate a big burger on a date... just cuz. lol.
kudos
Ur an ass.
I never thought I'd say this, but your logic actually makes some kind of sense. On official dates, people are making sure they say and do the right things to win each other over (possibly known as not keeping it real).
With that said, I really do think you need to ease up on thinking that every woman who wants to date you is automatically thinking of what's in your bank account. For all you know, she could have way more money put away than you do. Plus some women are just traditional in that sense. They might have been raised to believe that way. And I don't necessarily think anything is wrong with that, especially when both sexes benefit from tradition and gender roles.
I think dating is essential and a part of life. We may not like it, but we have meet a lot of lames before we finally get to the person of our dreams. If dating is part of what it takes to meet him one day, then I'm all for it.
Personally, I enjoy an outside-of-the-box type date where you can get to know someone beyond a wack dinner date. Exploring the city, lunch at the Promenade, wandering through the Met, etc. I've done it all before and it's a lot of fun and costs next to nothing.
Its not necessarily da money dats da issue dats jus the main one but there's more
There's too much underlyin in dates and I'm not 4 it anymore
Untradional dates are cool but still result in da same bs.
I have no prob spendin once ur worth. Done it b4
As far as gender roles we need 2 dead em cuz da same way you wanna be president or be takin seriously in da job you choose then dat miss independent... you gotta live don't talk bout it
You're a muthafuckin genius...
Dating is what it is...i dont even put a timetable on thing anymore...and I'm good @ reading character...
I tend to keep the first few dates cheap...one of my most recent dates we went to Woo Hop in Chinatown took the SI Ferry back and forth during a warm summer day. It was cool.
I tend not to date women who throw that independent woman label around because 1. I know real ones and they dont broadcast it...and 2. when it comes time to pay for their half of the meal or even take me out, it becomes a huge hissy fit. i just call things for what they are..
Glad i'm good in that department.
Thanx 4 da compliment K.
Yes it is what it is & I do my due dilligence before I waste my precious time wit a female who isnt worthy.
I agree on if you are something or someway you dont broadcast.
All I'm saying is there needs to be some eqaul ground & until gender roles arent such a huge part of peoples lives dating will be forever just going thru the motions
Honestly Rob, you're completely right with your logic. It really is a difference between getting to know someone on a more raw, blunt, and converstional type level rather than just "date" because that's what we were always led to believe was the right way to go about finding someone. But when I do think about it, when me and your cuz started talking,we really weren't going on dates, but it was more of a phone type convo and hanging out by my place type of relationship (just talking & watching Sopranos of course). And, look where it's taken us now - MARRIAGE!! Who would've thunk it??- Kudos to you for being one of the few Black men out there taking time to realize what's real, what's important, and what really works ----Oneika :-)
Well written. This needs to be posted in every magazine geared to single young women (and men). I heart the line:"...do you want someone to like you for you or where you can take them." A reasonable amount of integrity should be displayed to a man before drops any paper or plastic for a woman. No man wants to his waste time and money on a woman, just as no woman wants to waste her time and her vagina on a man. All these dating guidelines I read in magazines, books, and newletters is really driving me crazy. It's refreshing to get a different perspective on this very hot topic.
One day I do hope to get a chance to write in Seventeen Magazine &/or Cosmopolitan cuz they ruining an institution that is suppose to be geared to finding your true love with all these games.
Oh dont say this on the first date dont order that dont wear those...
Cmon people be yourself it works much better. Save the games for the kids lets be adults. You want him to like you not who you want him to think you are.
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