Get To Know You

How can you expect someone else to give you what it s that you want when you don't even know yourself?

I am a big advocate of relationships... healthy relationships. I also am deathly afraid of being alone. From as far back as I can remember I craved companionship. Maybe being the last born of 3 children & being the only boy, maybe growing up with a distant father in the house I just needed that attention. I clinged to other family members and absorb their circles as my own. The more attention the better. As I grew up this need allowed me to be taken advantage of cuz I felt their happiness was more important than my own. It lead to me either dealing with multiple women or me dropping everything important to me for that one selfish woman. Once out of that situation I had 4 years to my self. That lead me to understand what it was that truly made me happy. Yes I still had women in my life but it was on my terms, no advantages no disadvantages. Now I feel ready to give my all to another woman cuz I'm happy with myself, flaws & all.

This little back story is due to a convo I had with a good friend. She is currently in another potential destructive situation. She has a man, he doesn't treat her as she should be, he doesn't open up to her & he uses her. She has another suitor but he isn't good for her either cuz he has a family. While we spoke I commented that she needs to not be with anyone else. That was met with some opposition. The reason I gave her such advice is cuz she doesn't actually know herself. She has been in back to back to back long term relationships that end up awry. She's contemplating cheating on dude, which is what usually happens to her. Trust is big & she doesn't even trust herself enough to be faithful. I believe a little time away from needing that other person to express how they feel bout her (whether physical or emotional) would do wonders and allow her to explore how she feels bout herself. As we all know women are attention whores & it comes about from having qualms about themselves. Once she becomes truly happy with herself then the choice can be made from potential suitors who truly have her best intentions in mind. Now that I'm happy with me, I want to make my significant other smile as much as I do inside.

So what do you think ... Is being alone that unbearable if the time spent leads you to true happiness in the end???