End The Cycle

Aight I know I been gone for a min & you've missed me....

Now I wish that my 1st post back would come at a better time in life but here we go...

This summer started off so well for me. Parties, BBQ's & women. Really enjoyable, good friends & great times.
Now there must be something in the water mixing with the sun because I recently have come aware of 3 separate stories (2 women I know personally) of violence against women. Now I come from a time where "putting your woman in check" is the norm. Its almost socially acceptable in our Caribbean community to allow these practices. Well hopefully after these stories something might change.

7/12/2009 Carmen Saldana, 23
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07152009/news/regionalnews/queens/tragic_last_party_179303.htm
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07172009/news/regionalnews/queens/man_cleared_in_fit_beauty_slay_179720.htm

Earlier last week I was reading the NY Post like I do every morning during my commute on the L train. I came across a story in the middle of the paper (this should of been a bit closer to page one but we know tabloids) re: a young girl killed over that earlier weekend. According to reports Ms Saldana had attended a party at a friends house that weekend. She left alone and was not heard from. her mother, who cleans houses in the Hamptons, came home to find her dead half naked in her bed. Needless to say no one can sympathize with her moms unless you have witnessed this yourself. Apparently shorty put on her facebook some messages that people close to her should have taken seriously re: a boy she was dealing with. He was at said party and witnesses seen her leave with him. No one took em seriously and now shorty is dead. The young dude has still not been found or charged but we know how this ends.

7/14/2009 Greyssel Grace Gomez, 24
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/07/19/2009-07-19_moms_date_with_death.html

Now this one hits a lil closer to home. Now everyone knows how crazy it gets in the streets of Brooklyn. Unfortunately the craziness was closer that warranted. Tuesday night I was chillin' in my crib when I got a text I thought (hoped) was a joke. It stated that Grace had been shot by her baby father. Now I never really flexed with Grace in that way in her time here but she was extremely cool with many people I know. Actually just found out she went to school with a girl I'm close to. She told me she used to speak to Grace on a daily basis over the phone. Now I spoke to Grace on a non regular basis but I did know things about her like she had a son, she was very much focused on finishing school and she just recently returned from a trip to see her family in Florida who just moved there to escape the issues in NY. Now she loved her son and that's why she allowed this dude to still be in her life. This coward of a dude lured her to her death with the belief of bringing her pride & joy. Now this dude is on the lam and will soon be found. Unfortunately he has not only ruined his life but ended one and forever changed another. Hopefully he is brought in soon to face his decision.

7/19/2009 N. Douglas, 28

Last night I was speaking to my homegirl from Toronto over MSN Messenger. You usual shit during the day. Like around 9pm or so shorty comes back online and I ask whats up. She proceeds to tell me she was in a physical altercation with her baby father. Now she owned up to her smart mouth but as details go from her this proceeded to knock her down, drag her thru the lobby, take her upstairs, throw her on the bed so hard it broke, smash her head into the wall and if that don't be all he attacked her while she was holding their daughter. Now I know what your thinking I wasn't there and its her account but I can vouch for shorty and she has no reason to lie to me. I'm just happy she is alive couldn't handle another death.

Now what do all these stories have in common. All these women have or had a man in their life that for whatever reason was still significant. The 1st had a dude who was obsessed with her. The last 2 is their child's father. I was originally going to write this blog re: violence in general between partners but in light of these events it seems all to familiar that women are being attacked on a regular basis. Now don't get me wrong women definitely abuse men albeit not always physical.

Any man can attest to the mental abuse we suffer through the women we are involved with. I really wanna state that people need to make better decisions. I was just speaking to my boy about this situation and we both agreed that in these situations what could this woman have done to this man for him to leave his crib & carry a loaded gun to end her life. No one is totally innocent nowadays but no deserves to have their life taken. The choices we make effect not only ourselves but everyone we come in contact with before and after the decision. I like to refer to the "butterfly effect"(Ashton Kutcher starred in a film by the same name, really good but a bit disturbing). Our choices are just a drop in the bucket & the ripples are far reaching.

I just hope once you read this changes can be made whether you act this way, have someone in your life who treats you this way or just know people that conduct themselves in such a manner.

It must end.