Lost

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I've been told that I'm a cool/chill individual. The reason for this I believe is the fact that I basically can get along with anyone in any situation. I consider myself a social chameleon. On any given day you can observe 4 different Me's. These 4 sects include family, friends, work & relationship. In 1 day I can experience 1 or all 4. Some would take this as a gift not knowing the work that goes into this feat.

In keeping all sects separate you might lose your true self. Most times these separations are easily managed since some sects don't mix. In a perfect utopia I would want all sects to interact with each other for example: relationship should merge with friends & family. But what happens when issue arise within sects that can not be discussed with others. Family issues should not be discussed with work individuals and most relationship issue should be handled in house.

How can your true self be realized if throughout the day your not the same or allowed to express yourself freely across lines? Those who know me know I'm all about openness & honesty. I also try to make everyone happy which is my nature as a Cancer man. The problem arises when individuals within sects are naturally quiet, seem emotionless or choose to close themselves off and allow issues to fade (but still fester within & explode at a later time). So open individual has issue with closed person in one group but can not express amongst others. This leads to uneasiness, self doubt, loss of confidence & eventually unhappiness. These issues I can only handle alone until that party finds in themselves to open up. So while I wait I become closed off & pretend things are fine. When things are good I try to extend that positivity by not expressing the issue that might breed negativity.

One day we will resolve but til then I can not truly be honest within sects & bring the happiness each one deserves. I can not be who you need me to be, until I truly know who I am...

1 comments:

DolceDivaDame said...

It is not your job to bring happiness to others, especially to those who want to remain closed off. You cannot make everyone happy. It's just impossible. It's awful to see others unhappy and in pain; and as much as you want to bring joy and wisdom into their lives, you're just going to have to accept the fact that you may not be the person who God assigned to take care of them. Don't let that bother you. I believe that you know who are and I'm sure those people know that you're someone whom they can speak to anytime about any thing. You sound as though you are unhappy with the choice you made to not express yourself freely. You don't want to be the "bad guy." You have to decide: Do you want to make progress? or do you want to pretend? (I hope this helps you out in some way)

P.S. read my blog Dime Pieces and comment on my writing (it's a work-in-progress)